Top Ten Relationship Tips from Author Cherish D'Angelo & her Husband

Thank you so much for celebrating my Cherish the Romance Virtual Book Tour, which launches my contemporary romantic suspense Lancelot's Lady. Since my new novel is a romance, I wanted to chat about what it takes to keep a marriage (or relationship) going.

So that today's post appeals to my male readers too, I asked my husband Marc to share his thoughts. Marc and I have been married for nearly 24 years, and though it hasn't all been a bed of roses, there have been plenty of blooming moments and some very thorny ones. But we're still together, still looking forward to a future together, and we still love each other.

Here is Our Top Ten Relationship Tips:

1. Pick your battles. Don't fight about everything. Pick only the most important battles; the others can slide. Not everything is as important as we may think. Sometimes we need to step back, take some time to think about things and we realize that some things just aren't worth fighting about.

2. Be careful what you wish for. You may think you know what you want, until you get it. Don't wish for someone else's life; it may not be all you think. The grass isn't always greener on the opposite side of the fence.

3. Don't let money (or lack of it) come between you. Don't allow budgets to have power over your life in such a way that resentment or anger grows instead of love. Find ways to celebrate your togetherness in ways that are affordable. To create an enjoyable financial situation, spend money together or plan your rewards together. If you're going to be in debt, at least be in debt together. If you're going to be rich, be rich together. If you're going to be okay, be okay together.

4. Stick together during tough times. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade together. Overcome hurdles together. The tough times are the true tests of a relationship. If you can get through a really rough time, you can get through anything. Don't walk away from your relationship or let it go. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. It's worth changing for. It's worth compromising for. Fight for your relationship.

5. Love each other every day. Show it. Vocalize it. Don't miss an opportunity to tell your spouse you love him or her. Love is in the little things, not just the grand gestures. It's in a wink. It's in a laugh. It's in the teasing. It's in a fleeting moment of thoughtfulness. Love to love each other.

6. Love the one you're with. Learn to love each other despite flaws. Focus on the strengths not the weaknesses. Focus on what's good, not what's not so good. Focus on what is right now and not on what you think should be. Take time to remember why you're together. Love the one YOU chose.

7. Listen. Listen to the wants and needs of your spouse. Listen with both ears and really hear. Sometimes the truth lies in what isn't said. Listening takes some time. Make the time. Support each other's dreams.

8. Be faithful, trusting and trustworthy. You picked each other for a reason. Don't forget this. Remind yourselves every day why you are together, why you love each other. If you're unhappy, turn to each other, not to someone else. Trust your partner. And be trustworthy.

9. Laugh. Laugh lots. Make fun of life when you can. Make fun of each other. Don't take everything too seriously. Laughter heals. Laughter frees. Make each other laugh every day. Take time to play like kids.

10. Enjoy your life together. You created it. No one else has your life. If you don't like something about it, do what it takes to make it better. Don't be afraid of change; change can be exciting. Change is growth. Find adventure every week, and find it together. Be adventurous, courageous, romantic and fun.

If you'd asked my husband twenty years ago if he'd ever help me write a relationship article, he would've shook his head and said, "Yeah, I don't think so." I'm happy to tell you most of the tips above came from Marc. I asked him tonight at dinner what he thought made a good marriage. When I started taking notes, he asked what I was doing. I told him he was helping me write today's post. He laughed. It's just one more reason why I love him.

~Cherish D'Angelo

Lancelot's Lady is available in ebook edition at Amazon's Kindle Store, Smashwords and other ebook retailers. Help me celebrate by picking up a copy today and "Cherish the romance..."

You can learn more about Lancelot's Lady and Cherish D'Angelo (aka Cheryl Kaye Tardif) at http://www.cherylktardif.com and http://www.cherylktardif.blogspot.com.

Follow Cherish from September 27 to October 10 on her Cherish the Romance Virtual Book Tour and win prizes.

What do you think it takes to have a lasting relationship? What makes a marriage "work"?

Leave a comment here, with email address, to be entered into the prize draws, including the grand prize draw for a Kobo ereader. You're guaranteed to receive at least 1 free ebook just for doing so. Winners will be announced after October 10th.